River of Sex: Sex in marriage comes differently to women and differently to men.
A man and his wife were actually working class persons but whenever they both come back, they take their bath. As the woman goes to the kitchen to cook, the man sits at the parlor to watch television shows, football and sometimes plays video games.
After eating their supper together, they go to bed. As the man wants to enjoy holy conjugal union with his wife, the wife always tells him that she is tired having come back from work and entered the kitchen. Indeed, the wife was actually tired because her eyes and temperature always show that. So, she wasn’t pretending about it because the man knows his wife. But, he wasn’t finding it funny.
This continued several days and months, for the only day they do the holy deeds of their sacrament of matrimony were on Saturdays when the wife was always at home with no work to go for. But the man was worried that they are not actually bonding so well.
The man went to his spiritual director and counselor who is a Catholic priest and laid the matter before him. To his surprise, the priest told him to always join the wife at the kitchen whenever they come back from work even if to add some discussions as she cooks. The man hesitated but had to obey his spiritual director since it was for the good of the family.
So, he started making effort.
The first day, it wasn’t easy for him because he felt that he brings all the money, why should he enter the kitchen too. He went to the kitchen and just asked the wife , “how are you?” The wife was surprised and said, “fine darling darling!”
The second day, the man came in and started chatting with the wife on many topics of interest while standing. The wife brought a sit for her husband to sit. Interestingly, the man while sitting down saw her wife sitting on his laps as the food kept boiling, till it was done. The man was actually aroused sexually but not the woman.
After their dinner, the man and woman just continued their affectionate conversation into their bedroom and had the same sex that the woman had been tired of. From that day on, the man always tries to be there in the kitchen, sometimes helping out in small things, sometimes just discussing, etc.
Sex is like a river that needs a channel in order to flow to the right directions. Many men don’t understand that sex for women is more mental than physical, unlike men whose approach to sex is more physical. Give her affection and what you receive shall wow you.
Meanwhile, the woman was able to connect easily and bond sexually with the man because of the attention her husband started giving her which overwhelmed the resultant tiredness of the day’s work in the wife.
Men, train yourself and be humble enough to learn how to handle your wives. Be patient and learn, your wife is not running away.
Have a spiritual director and counselor too.
© Fr. Henry Charles Umelechi, 2023
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